If your adult child is slacking, it may be partly your fault. Have you paid his bills? Be especially concerned if you paid for non-essentials. That kills self-reliance in the same way welfare does. Have you condoned your adult child's taking years to "find herself?" She is more likely to find herself by trying out a career than by hosteling through Europe or subscribing to the Self-Help Book-of-the-Month Club. If you really want your adult child to grow up, instead of doling out more dough, help Junior come up with his own action plan. That approach works . . . sometimes.
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